Quiz: Am I a disrespectful asshole?

The other day I wrote about raising kids to respect persons with disabilities – and their wheelchairs. I also made reference a few times to “asshole adults” and how important it is to not let your child become one. I think now is an appropriate time to address some characteristics of an asshole – and how to avoid that fate.

☐ I have started a conversation with a person with a visible disability by asking “what happened to you?”

If you have done this, you might not be an asshole but you definitely need a course on human interaction. Try the school Ted Cruz went to, he had most people convinced he was not a reptilian.

☐ I have asked someone other than a close friend how they perform basic intimate daily tasks (such as bathing, using the bathroom, and – my personal favorite – have sex)

This is just common sense. If you wouldn’t ask it of an able-bodied person on a train, you probably shouldn’t ask it of a disabled person…anywhere. But especially not in public. Get it together.

☐ I have assumed that a disabled person knows my 2nd cousin’s wife’s neighbor, because they also have a disability (that may or may not bear any resemblance to the person in front of me)

Well, Deborah, my grandma’s cat is a socially inept bitch too, do you know her?

☐ I have hurried out of the way or tucked my feet an inappropriate amount out of the way in a hallway wide enough for a pair of elephants to walk through, upon seeing a wheelchair headed my way

People in wheelchairs are as good at driving their chairs as most people are at walking, sometimes even better. If we run over your toes or hit your shins it’s because you were being an idiot who needed to be corrected.

Along this same vein, comments about how good we are at driving our chairs, jokes about needing a license, and telling those around us how “zippy” we are is overplayed. It’s worse than 2010 Ke$ha.

☐I have used the wheelchair of someone I just met as either a coat rack or a piece of furniture to lean on

This one I tend to be more forgiving. It does get irritating when I try to move and take up more space than I’m used to because of a jacket on the back of my chair, but I also understand that carrying a coat around can be a pain. A good rule of thumb is to ask permission before doing anything involving someone else’s property.

If you have checked any of these boxes…you’re not an asshole. I know, because you’re reading this in an attempt to educate yourself. Nobody expects perfection, especially when it comes to new territory. Just be mindful, and when in doubt err on the side of basic respect!